Dec 08
22
Present a United Front
This tip is one of the most fundamental skills of parenting, but I have yet to see it used in more than a handful of situations.
Present a United Front means that there should be 1 set of rules for a child, no matter where they go. With a single set of rules, the child knows exactly what is expected of him or her, and what is considered not acceptable.
The worst scenario I have seen of this was a couple of years ago, a single mother brought her 6 year old son to me for help with his behavior. She said that he was totally out of control and she was fed up, frustrated, and exhausted.
As I got the background information on the family situation, it instantly became clear what, at least one of the issues was – Imagine This:
A) Parents are divorced and share custody
B) Each parent has a baby sitter in case the need arises. On average 2 times a week
C) Both sets of Grand Parents help out when they are able
D) The child is in Latch Key which is an After-school Daycare Program
and not one of these groups spoke to the others about the rules for the child.
THAT’S 7 DIFFERENT SETS OF RULES!!!!
No wonder the child was "out of control". The rules changed every time his location changed. After working with both parents to create a set of rules they both agreed with, Alex – the son, became a much happier child in about 2 weeks!!
So here is your homework:
1) Create a list of rules your child must follow
2) Write the list on paper
3) Discuss the list with anyone who will be responsible for your child in your absence
4) Get a verbal commitment from each person that they understand, and more importantly believe, the rules you have listed
5) Hold them to their agreement
Now the list does not have to cover every single aspect of watching your child. It should contain all of the major aspects such as discipline methods, rewards for good behavior, guidelines for nap and bed times, etc.
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